It's been a long time since I've blogged... a testament to my increasing popularity? No. I'm just busy I guess. Since my last entry, I vacationed in Savannah with my boyfriend, I quit my job, I turned 24, I discovered I've lost 9 pounds total, and I also celebrated 3 months of not smoking.
But these feats pale in the light of what is happening this coming Saturday. On Saturday I am moving in with my boyfriend. My boyfriend of 2+ years. Who I've been in love with for 2+ years. Who I've daydreamed of living with since the first time I spent the night with him after a Rock of Love episode and made him coffee before work. It's pretty exciting business. I'm packing my Uhaul Friday, driving down that evening, and we're moving into our place Saturday.
My mom said I have to get a picture of myself in the Uhaul, which I'll do because I am the perfect daughter (relax I'm only slightly serious), even though I think it's a little butch. I'm not exactly looking forward to the long trek in the truck by myself without a CD player or radio. Cest la vie, I'll hopefully not need to make a similar trip for many, many moons.
Speaking of moons, it is gorgeous tonight. A full moon night? I don't know... nonetheless a beautiful night to be the moon shining over Tampa Bay, and apparently Tallahassee as well. I'm tired.
4.28.2010
4.05.2010
wow mom that's a cool cow
Did you do this when you were a kid? You use your mouth to make the O in the words.
wow
mom, that's a
cool (move your mouth to make to Os)
cow!
It's pretty much one of the greatest things you can do with your mouth. Some other great things include talk (if you are me or someone like me who is smart and doesn't just say dumb shit all day), perform oral sex (if you are good at it and are giving it to a willing recipient nonetheless), eat (pretty much anything, especially ice cream), sing, and smile! But 'wow-mom-that's-a-cool-cow'ing is certainly up there.
You know what isn't up there? Smoking. That's because smoking ceased being cool the second I decided to quit. I don't know exactly how that worked... but it did happen. Ask anyone.
It has been a really strange week. One of my best friends' mom killed herself a week and a half ago. My parents' friends' daughter was shot in the face by her boyfriend during a fight. And a woman at Publix in Tarpon Springs shot and killed a co-worker after she was fired. That all happened within 2 or 3 days of eachother. Not to mention all the bullets and bloodshed that occur everyday... But I mean. Jeez. Guns have always scared me... just given me the jitters. It's a lot of power and I am so clumsy I've always felt like I would be the one to accidentally shoot someone or myself in the foot. But I now really, really, strongly oppose having firearms, at least at my house. Sure I think it would be grand if no one ever had any anywhere... But that won't happen, plus I'm trying to stay out of other people's business and not tell them what they should or shouldn't do. But I for one don't want to have guns in my house, or at all accessible to anybody I love.
Good things have been happening too, and I have been seeing God's work all over the place for sure. It's just so weird to feel such deep sorrow for people that I love as well as gratitude. Balanced emotions have never been a strong suit of mine. My mom says it's a grown up thing... weird. word. Anyhow, if you are someone who prays, please pray for those people and their families. Pray in whatever way works for you I guess, I just hope they can all find some peace, comfort, and serenity in these tragic times.
On a completely unrelated note I have lost 9 pounds since I started eating healthy. That is great. I am going to keep it up. I want to lose 9 more pounds in April!! Here's hoping (and working for it). I hope by sandwiching the tragedies of the last few weeks with some more lighthearted things no one thinks I don't take the said tragedies seriously. And I hope it isn't disrespectful. It's just my strange way of getting that stuff out there. Not very graceful. I am still learning how to write I guess (yay blogging!) I learned the sandwich method from Stewie on Family Guy. He's brilliant. Anyhow, thanks for reading fellow interwebbers. I bid you all goodnight and wish the best for each and every one of you lovely little blossom head pumpkin faces. XOXO
wow
mom, that's a
cool (move your mouth to make to Os)
cow!
It's pretty much one of the greatest things you can do with your mouth. Some other great things include talk (if you are me or someone like me who is smart and doesn't just say dumb shit all day), perform oral sex (if you are good at it and are giving it to a willing recipient nonetheless), eat (pretty much anything, especially ice cream), sing, and smile! But 'wow-mom-that's-a-cool-cow'ing is certainly up there.
You know what isn't up there? Smoking. That's because smoking ceased being cool the second I decided to quit. I don't know exactly how that worked... but it did happen. Ask anyone.
It has been a really strange week. One of my best friends' mom killed herself a week and a half ago. My parents' friends' daughter was shot in the face by her boyfriend during a fight. And a woman at Publix in Tarpon Springs shot and killed a co-worker after she was fired. That all happened within 2 or 3 days of eachother. Not to mention all the bullets and bloodshed that occur everyday... But I mean. Jeez. Guns have always scared me... just given me the jitters. It's a lot of power and I am so clumsy I've always felt like I would be the one to accidentally shoot someone or myself in the foot. But I now really, really, strongly oppose having firearms, at least at my house. Sure I think it would be grand if no one ever had any anywhere... But that won't happen, plus I'm trying to stay out of other people's business and not tell them what they should or shouldn't do. But I for one don't want to have guns in my house, or at all accessible to anybody I love.
Good things have been happening too, and I have been seeing God's work all over the place for sure. It's just so weird to feel such deep sorrow for people that I love as well as gratitude. Balanced emotions have never been a strong suit of mine. My mom says it's a grown up thing... weird. word. Anyhow, if you are someone who prays, please pray for those people and their families. Pray in whatever way works for you I guess, I just hope they can all find some peace, comfort, and serenity in these tragic times.
On a completely unrelated note I have lost 9 pounds since I started eating healthy. That is great. I am going to keep it up. I want to lose 9 more pounds in April!! Here's hoping (and working for it). I hope by sandwiching the tragedies of the last few weeks with some more lighthearted things no one thinks I don't take the said tragedies seriously. And I hope it isn't disrespectful. It's just my strange way of getting that stuff out there. Not very graceful. I am still learning how to write I guess (yay blogging!) I learned the sandwich method from Stewie on Family Guy. He's brilliant. Anyhow, thanks for reading fellow interwebbers. I bid you all goodnight and wish the best for each and every one of you lovely little blossom head pumpkin faces. XOXO
3.31.2010
countdown...
Greetings! It’s me, Molly! It’s been awhile (again) and, again, I have been legitimately busy. Let’s start with the usual… it’s been 67 days, 8 hours, 1 minute and 20 seconds since my last cigarette. I have saved 10 days and 5 hours of my life, and $335.00. GO ME!
The server is down at work. All internet works except for what I need to do my job… so I am just tooling around facebook, catchin’ up on my blog, et cetera. I told the boss who told the other boss who said this and we tried that and blah blah blah it still doesn’t work. Whatevs.
Nick and I are going on vacation in a week and a half. And my birthday is one week from today! YAY! I will be 24. That’s cool I guess. I feel like since my 21st birthday I won’t have another ‘important’ birthday until 30. But I guess all the birthdays = the same amount of importance which is not much at all. Just another day to be grateful to my parents and God for bringing me to this world. Even though I can’t help still wishing for lots and lots of presents… haha.
For our vacation Nick and I are going to Savannah, GA. I am psyched. I’ve been there twice before, but it has been awhile. What a historic, fun, cultural little city. We are staying at a riverfront hotel, and will be there a whole week. I am so excited to just unwind and relax with my man. We’re gonna explore Tybee Island and hopefully do some kayaking. We’ll rent bikes, go on some trolley tours, do some shopping, some museum hopping. Definitely we are eating at Paula Dean’s restaurant down there, and some crab houses… some legit southern fixin’s, ya heard? Mmm. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them. We got a travel guide book, but that never seems as good as some advice from a friend.
Wow. It has only been one hour and ten minutes at work. Seems like much longer. There is absolutely nothing going on here. FML I AM BORED.
The server is down at work. All internet works except for what I need to do my job… so I am just tooling around facebook, catchin’ up on my blog, et cetera. I told the boss who told the other boss who said this and we tried that and blah blah blah it still doesn’t work. Whatevs.
Nick and I are going on vacation in a week and a half. And my birthday is one week from today! YAY! I will be 24. That’s cool I guess. I feel like since my 21st birthday I won’t have another ‘important’ birthday until 30. But I guess all the birthdays = the same amount of importance which is not much at all. Just another day to be grateful to my parents and God for bringing me to this world. Even though I can’t help still wishing for lots and lots of presents… haha.
For our vacation Nick and I are going to Savannah, GA. I am psyched. I’ve been there twice before, but it has been awhile. What a historic, fun, cultural little city. We are staying at a riverfront hotel, and will be there a whole week. I am so excited to just unwind and relax with my man. We’re gonna explore Tybee Island and hopefully do some kayaking. We’ll rent bikes, go on some trolley tours, do some shopping, some museum hopping. Definitely we are eating at Paula Dean’s restaurant down there, and some crab houses… some legit southern fixin’s, ya heard? Mmm. If anyone has any suggestions feel free to leave them. We got a travel guide book, but that never seems as good as some advice from a friend.
Wow. It has only been one hour and ten minutes at work. Seems like much longer. There is absolutely nothing going on here. FML I AM BORED.
3.23.2010
health, in a general way...
Greetings followers and fellow readers! It's been awhile. I'm sorry. honestly, I have been so busy with work and working out and eating healthy and trying to have some semblance of a social life that I have been severely lacking in certain areas... like blogging and catching up on my TV shows. Gasp!
It has been TWO WHOLE MONTHS of not smoking! Today is my two months! And I will celebrate by working all day, then working out, and possibly having dinner with my friend, Suzanne.
HOWEVER, although I am still somewhat the center of my own universe, I am way more excited about something besides my own awesomeness today (how rare) and that is HEALTH CARE REFORM! (Yay!!) It's the law now! I am so happy. So proud today, of our President, our country, our leaders and representatives, and so grateful for all those who contributed time, energy, and money to this great cause. I am so honored to be part of something so amazing. I felt this way a year and a half ago when Obama was elected. And I feel that same sense of pride today.
While the bill is over 1,000 pages long, the most important and all-encompassing part of the bill is on the title page: "To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans" ... Rings a bell with "Liberty and Justice for all" ehh? I'll go ahead and say it, No I have NOT read the entire bill. I would like to, but as stated I barely have time to read a magazine, let alone this bill. But you know what? I trust my representative to represent me. I trust this administration to make decisions in my best interest. I trust that Obama's priorities are in place, and I believe in the collective voice of the American people which voted for health care reform (the popular and electoral vote this time, mind you).
This bill is not some secret Socialist ploy to steal your money and freedom and control your life. Big Brother isn't sneaking into your precious condo because Obama signed the bill. And don't worry, Rush Limbaugh's radio show hasn't been cancelled (for the love of all that is good and holy I wish it was). It is pretty upfront, there are not many hidden sections, the bill is about providing Americans with quality, affordable health care. It's about protecting ourselves. And it will be 1,000 times more effective protection than blowing things up overseas. But I won't even go there.
Personally, I usually need to refrain from political grappling. I get too involved, too passionate, I lose any serenity I might have had, and my egomania turns into ego-raging-psychopathy in seconds. But this is important. I am so sick of the Tea Party, I am so tired of this Obama=Marxism crap... I'm tired of the conservative reports which are merely a front, albeit a horrible disguise, for character assassination of our ambitious, hard-working, and honest President.
I cannot afford to lie, spiritually. And in order to be granted health care coverage, I would HAVE to lie, should I be kicked off my parents' plan as scheduled. However, not only can I stay on their plan now, but health insurance companies would have to cover me! They will have to cover my diabetic friend. They will have to cover my mentally ill loved one. They will have to cover my cancer surviving dad, they will have to cover my HIV infected friend. And they will have to cover people who were born with diseases and disabilities completely out of their control (As if any fetus wishes for retardation as they're juicing around their momma's belly). Babies and children born with diabetes, autism, cancer, failing organs and genetic disorders... families will not have to choose between house and child (is there really a choice?) when a pregnant mother learns her fetus is carrying genetic markers for a lifelong disease. Families will not have to go bankrupt caring for each other. Even adults who have contracted diseases and illnesses through poor decisions... should they really be made to suffer painful and agonizing, as well as morally and physically bankrupt, deaths? Do you agree that we as a country should rob them not only of dignity and life, but of every cent they might pass on to loved ones as well?
I'll get off my soapbox now. But I for one teared up when I watched the video of President Obama signing the bill today. And your cynicism won't stop me from being proud to be an American, even if it means sharing the name with you.
It has been TWO WHOLE MONTHS of not smoking! Today is my two months! And I will celebrate by working all day, then working out, and possibly having dinner with my friend, Suzanne.
HOWEVER, although I am still somewhat the center of my own universe, I am way more excited about something besides my own awesomeness today (how rare) and that is HEALTH CARE REFORM! (Yay!!) It's the law now! I am so happy. So proud today, of our President, our country, our leaders and representatives, and so grateful for all those who contributed time, energy, and money to this great cause. I am so honored to be part of something so amazing. I felt this way a year and a half ago when Obama was elected. And I feel that same sense of pride today.
While the bill is over 1,000 pages long, the most important and all-encompassing part of the bill is on the title page: "To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans" ... Rings a bell with "Liberty and Justice for all" ehh? I'll go ahead and say it, No I have NOT read the entire bill. I would like to, but as stated I barely have time to read a magazine, let alone this bill. But you know what? I trust my representative to represent me. I trust this administration to make decisions in my best interest. I trust that Obama's priorities are in place, and I believe in the collective voice of the American people which voted for health care reform (the popular and electoral vote this time, mind you).
This bill is not some secret Socialist ploy to steal your money and freedom and control your life. Big Brother isn't sneaking into your precious condo because Obama signed the bill. And don't worry, Rush Limbaugh's radio show hasn't been cancelled (for the love of all that is good and holy I wish it was). It is pretty upfront, there are not many hidden sections, the bill is about providing Americans with quality, affordable health care. It's about protecting ourselves. And it will be 1,000 times more effective protection than blowing things up overseas. But I won't even go there.
Personally, I usually need to refrain from political grappling. I get too involved, too passionate, I lose any serenity I might have had, and my egomania turns into ego-raging-psychopathy in seconds. But this is important. I am so sick of the Tea Party, I am so tired of this Obama=Marxism crap... I'm tired of the conservative reports which are merely a front, albeit a horrible disguise, for character assassination of our ambitious, hard-working, and honest President.
I cannot afford to lie, spiritually. And in order to be granted health care coverage, I would HAVE to lie, should I be kicked off my parents' plan as scheduled. However, not only can I stay on their plan now, but health insurance companies would have to cover me! They will have to cover my diabetic friend. They will have to cover my mentally ill loved one. They will have to cover my cancer surviving dad, they will have to cover my HIV infected friend. And they will have to cover people who were born with diseases and disabilities completely out of their control (As if any fetus wishes for retardation as they're juicing around their momma's belly). Babies and children born with diabetes, autism, cancer, failing organs and genetic disorders... families will not have to choose between house and child (is there really a choice?) when a pregnant mother learns her fetus is carrying genetic markers for a lifelong disease. Families will not have to go bankrupt caring for each other. Even adults who have contracted diseases and illnesses through poor decisions... should they really be made to suffer painful and agonizing, as well as morally and physically bankrupt, deaths? Do you agree that we as a country should rob them not only of dignity and life, but of every cent they might pass on to loved ones as well?
I'll get off my soapbox now. But I for one teared up when I watched the video of President Obama signing the bill today. And your cynicism won't stop me from being proud to be an American, even if it means sharing the name with you.
3.08.2010
lucky forty-four
Today is day forty-four of no smoking. Forty-four is my lucky number. I was born at 4:44 am in the fourth month of the year (April, dummies) and am subsequently forty-four times more amazing than anyone else you know. I am also four hundred and forty-four times more humble than the humblest man born before me. And, as Fred (or Hobbes) might say, I am the culmination of forty-four billion years of evolution.
Anyway, for the most part I am thrilled to be a forty-four days old non-smoker today. But will not be buying myself anything to celebrate as previously thought, due to fundage issues, i.e. I work for minimum wage and need to eat. Oh well, I'll get those sandals later.
Soylent green! It's made of people!
I am really pleased that Jeff Bridges won the Oscar for best actor in Crazy Heart. If you haven't seen that movie, you should. Especially if you are an alcoholic. But, if you're an alcoholic who is still drinking and don't want a buzz kill on your tornado ride, you might want to go see Avatar instead.
Crazy Heart was amazing. I would have liked for Maggie G. to win best supporting actress, but think that Monique's role in Precious was pretty pretty friggin' crucial. That end scene where she's trying to explain to the social worker (Mariah Carey) why she did the things she did, why she does the things she does... I mean it's some serious acting. Heart-wrenching, savage, raw... but tender and beautiful at the same time. What the fuck.
All i know is that as soon as the lights came on after Precious I called my mom sobbing to tell her how grateful I am that I got her instead of Precious's mom. I mean... seriously. I am reading Push right now, the book that Precious is based on. Jesus Christ. I don't know if I can keep reading it... it's so depressing and scary and awful... but poignant. It's like Princess Di's car wreck: tragic and sad but you can't get enough of it. I am also glad Sandra Bullock won best actress for The Blind Side. She kicked ass in that movie, I don't care what you heard... she is not just playing some bitchy southern woman. She's still not as great as my mom :)
Okay, I'm gonna get back to my fabulously exciting job. Thanks for listening, or reading, or barely glancing at, whatevs. Until next time interweb, I bid thee well <3
Anyway, for the most part I am thrilled to be a forty-four days old non-smoker today. But will not be buying myself anything to celebrate as previously thought, due to fundage issues, i.e. I work for minimum wage and need to eat. Oh well, I'll get those sandals later.
Soylent green! It's made of people!
I am really pleased that Jeff Bridges won the Oscar for best actor in Crazy Heart. If you haven't seen that movie, you should. Especially if you are an alcoholic. But, if you're an alcoholic who is still drinking and don't want a buzz kill on your tornado ride, you might want to go see Avatar instead.
Crazy Heart was amazing. I would have liked for Maggie G. to win best supporting actress, but think that Monique's role in Precious was pretty pretty friggin' crucial. That end scene where she's trying to explain to the social worker (Mariah Carey) why she did the things she did, why she does the things she does... I mean it's some serious acting. Heart-wrenching, savage, raw... but tender and beautiful at the same time. What the fuck.
All i know is that as soon as the lights came on after Precious I called my mom sobbing to tell her how grateful I am that I got her instead of Precious's mom. I mean... seriously. I am reading Push right now, the book that Precious is based on. Jesus Christ. I don't know if I can keep reading it... it's so depressing and scary and awful... but poignant. It's like Princess Di's car wreck: tragic and sad but you can't get enough of it. I am also glad Sandra Bullock won best actress for The Blind Side. She kicked ass in that movie, I don't care what you heard... she is not just playing some bitchy southern woman. She's still not as great as my mom :)
Okay, I'm gonna get back to my fabulously exciting job. Thanks for listening, or reading, or barely glancing at, whatevs. Until next time interweb, I bid thee well <3
3.05.2010
day forty something...
I don't even know how many days it's been since I quit smoking. Alls I knows is that I didn't chew any nicorette yesterday, decided not to buy anymore since that crap is expensive, but am thinking about chewing a piece right now. Also, I joined a facebook group called "Why Doesn't Dale Chihuly Make Himself a Fucking Glass Eye Already?" because it made me laugh. And then it made my mom laugh so hard she cried apparently. Which is good, because I thought it might offend some people. Good luck offending my family though, We're simultaneously some of the most steel-skinned and sensitive people ever.
Yesterday I went to lunch with my co-worker Amanda. We went to Stonechase Grille and I got an AMAZING sandwich. What was also amazing about this lunch date however, besides the company and the sandwich, was the soundtrack. I'm not sure what the f radio station or mix CD they were playing but it included two intensely outrageous throw back songs. One of these was "I Want You" by Savage Garden. I totally used to have the single cassette tape of this song. It is the ultimate tribute song to Cherry Coke... "in the base of my spine just like a chic-a-cherry cola"!!! And I still knew all the words! "Every time i need to see you face i just close my eyes and I am taken to a place in my crystal mind..." It was hilarious. The next song was even better! It was the 'sweat' song... I don't even know what it's called or who it's by, just that I used to be obsessed with it and sing it in my sleep. It goes like this "Uh leh leh leh leh lomp, Uh leh leh leh leh lomp, Uh leh leh leh leh lomp lompy lom lomp lomp (Come on) girl I'm gonna make you sweat, sweat til you can't sweat to more, and if you cry-y, I'm gonna push it some mo-o-ore." (yeah strangest onomatopoeias ever!) Now, I was in 4th grade when I liked this song. I know this because I remember skating around the skating rink holding hands with my 'boyfriend' Marshall Printy listening to it. How inappropriate for fourth graders! Bring out the Barney, people! I probably didn't even listen to the words or know what they were talking about. But it sounds like rape to me. Or at least some serious S & M... Wtf Skate Inn East!
Anyhow... Susan is coming to Tampa today which makes me really happy. We are going to watch an entire season of some tv show called "Flash Forward" that I haven't heard much about, but think looks interesting. Also, we'll go eat fancy sushi and go to the gym to get all buff and sweaty. I am SO EXCITED! Okay, I'm gonna get back to work. Until later, interweb, I bid thee farewell <3
Yesterday I went to lunch with my co-worker Amanda. We went to Stonechase Grille and I got an AMAZING sandwich. What was also amazing about this lunch date however, besides the company and the sandwich, was the soundtrack. I'm not sure what the f radio station or mix CD they were playing but it included two intensely outrageous throw back songs. One of these was "I Want You" by Savage Garden. I totally used to have the single cassette tape of this song. It is the ultimate tribute song to Cherry Coke... "in the base of my spine just like a chic-a-cherry cola"!!! And I still knew all the words! "Every time i need to see you face i just close my eyes and I am taken to a place in my crystal mind..." It was hilarious. The next song was even better! It was the 'sweat' song... I don't even know what it's called or who it's by, just that I used to be obsessed with it and sing it in my sleep. It goes like this "Uh leh leh leh leh lomp, Uh leh leh leh leh lomp, Uh leh leh leh leh lomp lompy lom lomp lomp (Come on) girl I'm gonna make you sweat, sweat til you can't sweat to more, and if you cry-y, I'm gonna push it some mo-o-ore." (yeah strangest onomatopoeias ever!) Now, I was in 4th grade when I liked this song. I know this because I remember skating around the skating rink holding hands with my 'boyfriend' Marshall Printy listening to it. How inappropriate for fourth graders! Bring out the Barney, people! I probably didn't even listen to the words or know what they were talking about. But it sounds like rape to me. Or at least some serious S & M... Wtf Skate Inn East!
Anyhow... Susan is coming to Tampa today which makes me really happy. We are going to watch an entire season of some tv show called "Flash Forward" that I haven't heard much about, but think looks interesting. Also, we'll go eat fancy sushi and go to the gym to get all buff and sweaty. I am SO EXCITED! Okay, I'm gonna get back to work. Until later, interweb, I bid thee farewell <3
3.02.2010
The Whole of February
I didn't smoke for the entire month of February. Albeit the shortest month of the year, this is still an accomplishment. According to Quitnet.com, it has been 38 days, 13 hours, 35 minutes and 21 seconds since my last cigarette. I have saved 5 days and 21 hours of my life, as well as $190.00, and not smoked 771 cigarettes. But that's probably more like 772, since i would undoubtedly be smoking right now if I were still a nasty smoker. You know where that $190.00 I 'saved' by not smoking went? My new Michael Kors watch. But whatevs I totally deserve it... it's my present to myself for not smoking and for just being awesome in general. And for my giant strides in acquiring genuine humility, apparently. On the 44th day of not smoking, which will be next Sunday or Monday, I will get myself another present. Perhaps a meal. Or a new pair of shoes... some shoes to fill that new-summer-line-of-sandals-by-Steve-Madden sized hole in my heart.
I have been wanting to smoke lately. More than I did when I first started. But I haven't, and I won't, because I don't ever want to do this again. And I am so self-righteous and afraid to be proven wrong by anyone that I avoid it like the plague. Maybe worse than the plague, since I don't actually have to actively avoid that. Yay antibiotics! I am down to one or two pieces of nicotine gum a day, not even consciously. I just don't really want that much. But I want one right now as I type this. Plus I just chew the crap out of it, then get heartburn and sandpaper mouth really bad. Yuck-O! But it's better than ashtray breath, I guess.
I am really bored at work. I guess most people have boring jobs that they aren't insanely crazy about going to. But I just think it should be different for me. I am taking steps in that direction I suppose, but it's not here yet... and I still have to come to my boring job and look at a very big and empty blank room and call people who don't answer the phone and spend every last ounce of energy I have just keeping my eyes open. At least I have a job, right?! My little sister Susan is coming to visit this weekend, and that is the bright and shining happy fluorescent light at the end of the tunnel that will get me through this dreary week of monotony. I am excited to see her. We are gonna chill so hard it's gonna feel like an ice age hit Tampa. YAY!!! Well, I should get back to work... call some people, leave some voice mails, send some emails, and watch a little bit more of my life slip away... :) Not that I'm being dramatic or anything. Also, check out this song: "Personality Candyspots" by Marmoset... it's really good. I'd never heard of them before. But this song came on my Pandora station and I can't get it out of my head, but in a good way. Not like that stupid song by Miley Cyrus about Jay-Z and American parties. You know, America was not partying when we lost the Gold medal hockey game. Take that Miley Cyrus. Okay interweb, I'll talk to you soon. LUV
I have been wanting to smoke lately. More than I did when I first started. But I haven't, and I won't, because I don't ever want to do this again. And I am so self-righteous and afraid to be proven wrong by anyone that I avoid it like the plague. Maybe worse than the plague, since I don't actually have to actively avoid that. Yay antibiotics! I am down to one or two pieces of nicotine gum a day, not even consciously. I just don't really want that much. But I want one right now as I type this. Plus I just chew the crap out of it, then get heartburn and sandpaper mouth really bad. Yuck-O! But it's better than ashtray breath, I guess.
I am really bored at work. I guess most people have boring jobs that they aren't insanely crazy about going to. But I just think it should be different for me. I am taking steps in that direction I suppose, but it's not here yet... and I still have to come to my boring job and look at a very big and empty blank room and call people who don't answer the phone and spend every last ounce of energy I have just keeping my eyes open. At least I have a job, right?! My little sister Susan is coming to visit this weekend, and that is the bright and shining happy fluorescent light at the end of the tunnel that will get me through this dreary week of monotony. I am excited to see her. We are gonna chill so hard it's gonna feel like an ice age hit Tampa. YAY!!! Well, I should get back to work... call some people, leave some voice mails, send some emails, and watch a little bit more of my life slip away... :) Not that I'm being dramatic or anything. Also, check out this song: "Personality Candyspots" by Marmoset... it's really good. I'd never heard of them before. But this song came on my Pandora station and I can't get it out of my head, but in a good way. Not like that stupid song by Miley Cyrus about Jay-Z and American parties. You know, America was not partying when we lost the Gold medal hockey game. Take that Miley Cyrus. Okay interweb, I'll talk to you soon. LUV
2.23.2010
one month
This one will be dedicated to Anna. Or Anna Blu, as some confused family members say.
Today is one month of no smoking. Hooray for me! I ate three pieces of nicotine gum today. Or chewed them... whatevs. I was far more concerned with other things than smoking today. Like my amazingness. And Dr. Dread. Oh Dr. Dread....
But I seriously was pretty unconcerned with myself at moments today, the best of which was Chuck's party. A bunch of people showed up at the hospital cafeteria to surprise our friend, Chuck, on his birthday. He is 41 today, in the hospital, still very sick, with an amputated leg. He has helped so many people in the area, and is such a vibrant person. About fifty people showed up at the cafeteria, maybe more, and we hung out and took pictures and ate cake and hugged him and loved him... And he thanked each and every person for coming. What an awesome guy to have hope, joy, peace, and high spirits in the given circumstances.
Work was busy today... I did a bunch of work but was also very busy using my new speakers. Yay I now have sound on my work computer! This is great for many reasons, the main one of which is that I can stream my Pandora radio stations at work. I can also post what I'm listening to, loving, and discovering while I work, and I can party hardy dance time too! Even though I keep the dancing to a minimum... Got to! But perhaps most importantly, I can hear the sound effects that Amanda and I send to eachother via Windows Live Messenger at only the most appropriate moments throughout the day. LOL
I'm tired from a loooooong day (14 hours between leaving here this morning and coming home) ... good night interweb, and good night readers.
Today is one month of no smoking. Hooray for me! I ate three pieces of nicotine gum today. Or chewed them... whatevs. I was far more concerned with other things than smoking today. Like my amazingness. And Dr. Dread. Oh Dr. Dread....
But I seriously was pretty unconcerned with myself at moments today, the best of which was Chuck's party. A bunch of people showed up at the hospital cafeteria to surprise our friend, Chuck, on his birthday. He is 41 today, in the hospital, still very sick, with an amputated leg. He has helped so many people in the area, and is such a vibrant person. About fifty people showed up at the cafeteria, maybe more, and we hung out and took pictures and ate cake and hugged him and loved him... And he thanked each and every person for coming. What an awesome guy to have hope, joy, peace, and high spirits in the given circumstances.
Work was busy today... I did a bunch of work but was also very busy using my new speakers. Yay I now have sound on my work computer! This is great for many reasons, the main one of which is that I can stream my Pandora radio stations at work. I can also post what I'm listening to, loving, and discovering while I work, and I can party hardy dance time too! Even though I keep the dancing to a minimum... Got to! But perhaps most importantly, I can hear the sound effects that Amanda and I send to eachother via Windows Live Messenger at only the most appropriate moments throughout the day. LOL
I'm tired from a loooooong day (14 hours between leaving here this morning and coming home) ... good night interweb, and good night readers.
2.22.2010
t minus 2 hours
This entry is dedicated to my sis, Susan (Anna I'll dedicate one to you too, promise!).
In a little under two hours it will be one month of no smoking. Which is insanely awesome. Insane and awesome. I have been wanting to smoke a lot recently... not even so much wanting to smoke as enjoying the smell of it as I walk by the ultra glamorous smokers... But when I walk past ashtrays I am put off of the nasty ass trash smell and go back to being grateful I don't smoke anymore or smell like that all the time. I've totally not written in this as I'd committed to, if I'd meant to for Lent I suppose I'd be flogging myself by now. Or just writing in this more... either way I think it'd be unfair to tell anyone I will write more since I've been so friggin busy and still feel like I'm getting used to the new schedule. This grown up life thing isn't worth messing with, ya heard.
When I was really little my Aunt Laurie told me that if you always parted your hair in the same place, you would go bald. I thought she literally meant my hair would fall out unless I never parted my hair. I am pretty sure I freaked out... wouldn't be uncharacteristic of me. I was later told this was untrue, and to the extent that I took it, yes it is untrue. All of your hair will not fall out at once due to parting you hair in the same place for a few weeks in a row. However... after parting my hair in the same place for basically the last three years, it has drastically thinned at the front of my part, and has turned into, I hate to say it, somewhat of a bald spot (YIKES!) I've been hesitant to part my hair on the other side... it's physically uncomfortable to change how my hair sits, and lord knows how I feel about change. But it's day two of parting my hair this way, and it really does look exponentially healthier. Wtf, why did I wait so long. I hope the other side grows back. Baldness and hair falling out is scary shit ya'll.
I went on a little women's spiritual retreat this weekend. It was supposed to be Friday to Sunday, but I left on Saturday because I felt uncomfortable and lonely in the unfamiliarity. I am really glad I went for the time that I did though. I heard some good stuff. I got honest with some people. I prayed. I listened to someone who is really struggling and shared my experience, strength, and hope with them. I listened to someone who has gotten through struggling and gained some experience, strength and hope from her. I ate some good food. I napped. And I left early. And you know... I am okay with that. I was just talking today to a friend about thinking for ourselves... I am so freaking impressionable. Rarely should I seek many different people's opinions on something I am struggling or grappling with. When I do that I just get some weird adoption/fusion of a million different opinions which couldn't be farther from how I honestly feel. What I usually need to do is pray and look inward to find out how I really feel. I know this is sappy as shit but I'm just realizing it so bare with me.
So... here are some things that I totally know, without a shadow of a doubt, completely untainted by anyone else's opinions: One, I absolutely adore my family and am grateful and blessed to have been born to them and with them, God did great and put me in the right place. Two, I am in love with my boyfriend, Nick, and believe through and through that he is the perfect boyfriend for me. Three: Japanther, Bob Dylan, Animal Collective, and the Magnetic Fields are completely amazing musicians/bands, and make me happy when I hear them in a way nothing else compares. Four, When I tell myself I am going to work out for an hour and then do it even if I get tired or don't want to, I feel really good about myself. Five, I like my coffee black. Six, I think cursing doesn't have to be trashy. Seven, I think Obama is the jam and that he is doing great things, he is someone I can believe in. Eight, I'm pretty sure that if Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter fucked they would produce a monster Satan himself would fear.
I guess most people who know me know those things. And honestly, the truths I've been realizing aren't listed, because perhaps they're not appropriate for me to write here. (GASP! A filter??) But, believe me. I've quit smoking for almost a month. I'm become financially self supporting. I'm not going to let myself go bald. And I am discovering truths about myself more and more each day... sometimes scary sometimes awesome but always enlightening and growth-worthy. Until next time, interweb, I bid the farewell. And I'm sure next time I'll have some even juicier truths to share with you. xoxo.
In a little under two hours it will be one month of no smoking. Which is insanely awesome. Insane and awesome. I have been wanting to smoke a lot recently... not even so much wanting to smoke as enjoying the smell of it as I walk by the ultra glamorous smokers... But when I walk past ashtrays I am put off of the nasty ass trash smell and go back to being grateful I don't smoke anymore or smell like that all the time. I've totally not written in this as I'd committed to, if I'd meant to for Lent I suppose I'd be flogging myself by now. Or just writing in this more... either way I think it'd be unfair to tell anyone I will write more since I've been so friggin busy and still feel like I'm getting used to the new schedule. This grown up life thing isn't worth messing with, ya heard.
When I was really little my Aunt Laurie told me that if you always parted your hair in the same place, you would go bald. I thought she literally meant my hair would fall out unless I never parted my hair. I am pretty sure I freaked out... wouldn't be uncharacteristic of me. I was later told this was untrue, and to the extent that I took it, yes it is untrue. All of your hair will not fall out at once due to parting you hair in the same place for a few weeks in a row. However... after parting my hair in the same place for basically the last three years, it has drastically thinned at the front of my part, and has turned into, I hate to say it, somewhat of a bald spot (YIKES!) I've been hesitant to part my hair on the other side... it's physically uncomfortable to change how my hair sits, and lord knows how I feel about change. But it's day two of parting my hair this way, and it really does look exponentially healthier. Wtf, why did I wait so long. I hope the other side grows back. Baldness and hair falling out is scary shit ya'll.
I went on a little women's spiritual retreat this weekend. It was supposed to be Friday to Sunday, but I left on Saturday because I felt uncomfortable and lonely in the unfamiliarity. I am really glad I went for the time that I did though. I heard some good stuff. I got honest with some people. I prayed. I listened to someone who is really struggling and shared my experience, strength, and hope with them. I listened to someone who has gotten through struggling and gained some experience, strength and hope from her. I ate some good food. I napped. And I left early. And you know... I am okay with that. I was just talking today to a friend about thinking for ourselves... I am so freaking impressionable. Rarely should I seek many different people's opinions on something I am struggling or grappling with. When I do that I just get some weird adoption/fusion of a million different opinions which couldn't be farther from how I honestly feel. What I usually need to do is pray and look inward to find out how I really feel. I know this is sappy as shit but I'm just realizing it so bare with me.
So... here are some things that I totally know, without a shadow of a doubt, completely untainted by anyone else's opinions: One, I absolutely adore my family and am grateful and blessed to have been born to them and with them, God did great and put me in the right place. Two, I am in love with my boyfriend, Nick, and believe through and through that he is the perfect boyfriend for me. Three: Japanther, Bob Dylan, Animal Collective, and the Magnetic Fields are completely amazing musicians/bands, and make me happy when I hear them in a way nothing else compares. Four, When I tell myself I am going to work out for an hour and then do it even if I get tired or don't want to, I feel really good about myself. Five, I like my coffee black. Six, I think cursing doesn't have to be trashy. Seven, I think Obama is the jam and that he is doing great things, he is someone I can believe in. Eight, I'm pretty sure that if Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter fucked they would produce a monster Satan himself would fear.
I guess most people who know me know those things. And honestly, the truths I've been realizing aren't listed, because perhaps they're not appropriate for me to write here. (GASP! A filter??) But, believe me. I've quit smoking for almost a month. I'm become financially self supporting. I'm not going to let myself go bald. And I am discovering truths about myself more and more each day... sometimes scary sometimes awesome but always enlightening and growth-worthy. Until next time, interweb, I bid the farewell. And I'm sure next time I'll have some even juicier truths to share with you. xoxo.
2.15.2010
day 23
I've officially not smoked as many days as I've been alive. Whoopee! And I certainly haven't gone this long since I had my first cigarette. Which I still remember vividly. I was smoking pot with some people (Yes, I remember all of their names, but won't share them for anonymity purposes). One of the girls I was with told me that If I smoked a cigarette after I smoked weed I would get 33% higher... but even better, if I smoked two cigarettes I would get 50% higher. I don't know where she got those numbers, or where the person she got them from did. But it's total bullshit. Smoking cigarettes doesn't make you more stoned. At all. It certainly is not her fault that I started smoking. I liked cigarettes. A lot more than pot. Every time I smoked pot I thought it was poisoned and I was dying. Cigarettes just made me feel fucking sharp. Not like I was having an aneurysm. Alas, I am a smoker no more. I am a mother f-ing non-smoker!! YEAH!
I haven't been writing in this as much as I'd like. It's hard to balance working full time, working out, cleaning my apartment, errands, relationship, family, and friend time... and still make time to write something fresh in here. Plus, my absolutely amazing boyfriend has been here since Friday. Yesterday was our two year anniversary. We had an awesome lazy day... went and saw the new movie 'Crazy Heart' with Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal. It was SOO good! You have to go see it. I think one of the best parts was when the drunken washed up country crooner Bad (Jeff Bridges) was in the liquor store looking at what kind of booze he could afford. The shopkeeper comes up to talk to him and says something along the lines of 'I'm a huge fan, my name's Bill Wilson' ... I laughed out loud. Whoever wrote the screenplay really did their research. The booze seller being Bill Wilson and all. Chuckle chuckle.
I am really enjoying the Olympics. The figure skating pairs finals are tonight... I love them! So romantic. The winter games are so much better than the summer games though, for real. Summer games have powerwalking. Winter games have snowboarding. Plus, snow is just magical! I've watched figure skating, luge, speed skating, cross country skiing, snowboard cross... it's so fun! I want to see more figure skating and the ski jump. That will be awesome! I missed the individual ski jump, but the team ski jump will happen in a few days and I will catch that. Here is a link to the olympic schedule if you are concerned with any of this: 2010 Olympic Schedule. In there you'll also find results of medal events that have happened already... USA has already won 6 medals, but just one gold. Whatevs. I just like watching the Olympics. Sure I hope America wins a bunch (USA! USA! USA!) but I also like when the underdog wins, or the love story prevails, or the guy who got through cancer beats the odds... you know? Good stuff. Ok. I need to go to the gym so I can get back here to watch the pairs figure skating medal event! Go China love team!! Heehee. Thank God I don't live in the McCarthy era, because if they saw this I would certainly be arrested for treason. I'm not rooting for Communism, McCarthyists, I'm rooting for love!
I haven't been writing in this as much as I'd like. It's hard to balance working full time, working out, cleaning my apartment, errands, relationship, family, and friend time... and still make time to write something fresh in here. Plus, my absolutely amazing boyfriend has been here since Friday. Yesterday was our two year anniversary. We had an awesome lazy day... went and saw the new movie 'Crazy Heart' with Jeff Bridges and Maggie Gyllenhaal. It was SOO good! You have to go see it. I think one of the best parts was when the drunken washed up country crooner Bad (Jeff Bridges) was in the liquor store looking at what kind of booze he could afford. The shopkeeper comes up to talk to him and says something along the lines of 'I'm a huge fan, my name's Bill Wilson' ... I laughed out loud. Whoever wrote the screenplay really did their research. The booze seller being Bill Wilson and all. Chuckle chuckle.
I am really enjoying the Olympics. The figure skating pairs finals are tonight... I love them! So romantic. The winter games are so much better than the summer games though, for real. Summer games have powerwalking. Winter games have snowboarding. Plus, snow is just magical! I've watched figure skating, luge, speed skating, cross country skiing, snowboard cross... it's so fun! I want to see more figure skating and the ski jump. That will be awesome! I missed the individual ski jump, but the team ski jump will happen in a few days and I will catch that. Here is a link to the olympic schedule if you are concerned with any of this: 2010 Olympic Schedule. In there you'll also find results of medal events that have happened already... USA has already won 6 medals, but just one gold. Whatevs. I just like watching the Olympics. Sure I hope America wins a bunch (USA! USA! USA!) but I also like when the underdog wins, or the love story prevails, or the guy who got through cancer beats the odds... you know? Good stuff. Ok. I need to go to the gym so I can get back here to watch the pairs figure skating medal event! Go China love team!! Heehee. Thank God I don't live in the McCarthy era, because if they saw this I would certainly be arrested for treason. I'm not rooting for Communism, McCarthyists, I'm rooting for love!
2.12.2010
hipsterism
My friend Jill and I are going to write and anonymous (to most) non-fiction novel which will be amazing. It will be like 'Dear Diary' meets the big book meets any Judy Blume book meets Vice magazine meets David Sedaris. All of those things meeting at one large and extremely inconvenient intersection. I'm excited though. More on that later.
I am exhausted. My skin and face hurt from antibiotics I've been taking for this infection on my face. It's getting better though. I am excited to see Nick tomorrow... Sunday is our two year anniversary. Holy smokes! I'm still marinating in that... it's really friggin cool. Goodnight, interweb. I promise one day I'll write in this before I get to the point of complete exhaustion (maybe)......
I am exhausted. My skin and face hurt from antibiotics I've been taking for this infection on my face. It's getting better though. I am excited to see Nick tomorrow... Sunday is our two year anniversary. Holy smokes! I'm still marinating in that... it's really friggin cool. Goodnight, interweb. I promise one day I'll write in this before I get to the point of complete exhaustion (maybe)......
2.09.2010
day seventeen
I have been a non-smoker for enough days in a row now that I don't know how many days it's been unless I count. What I mean is, I'm not running around saying "3 days" or "8 days" with a running number in my head at all seconds of the day ... it's been two and a half weeks... I LOVE that I'm not on the day count anymore. Go me. WTG MOLLY! I'm not being cocky, I am just absolutely fucking thrilled that I made a decision to quit and stuck with it. I think the factor that made me quit this time is that I wanted to do it for myself. Not for a friend, not for Nick, not for my parents, not for my bank account. But for me, my health, my happiness, my well-being. I guess I'm so stubborn and selfish that I'm always the bottom line. And by the way, Sarah Palin is a fucking retard. But I can say that because this is satire. She seriously makes me want to puke. I'm going to finish watching "Lost", which has certainly become the most bizarre thing I invest any time in, then I'm going to put away some clothes and go to sleep. But I might eat another peach somewhere in there because I am totally into peaches right now. The teaches of peaches, huh, what. Oh. Yeah. Bye interweb, like you wanted me calling me all the time...
2.08.2010
walk it out
There's a rap song called 'Walk it Out' by Chingy I believe.. or someone equally as not Lil Wayne, who is the best. Anyway... Today I went to the gym after work and I was super anxiety ridden... for no reason other than that I've been grappling with panic disorder and generalized anxiety for seven years. I went and walked/elipticle-dddd for an hour and felt so much better. I literally walked that shit out. As I was power walking and staring outside (not at my feet) an old Hanson song came on my ipod shuffle playlist and it made me really happy.... "fly the wings of an eagle, glide along with the wind..." If you were once a die hard Hanson fan as I certainly was you know that song. And you know how amazing it is. Damn... I seriously used to sob myself to sleep at night knowing I'd never get to meet and marry Zac Hanson (as I stared out the window praying to God that he'd surprise me and make it happen the next day). I'm really glad that plan didn't pan out though, because I am so happy with my life today, and I don't think I could ask for a better boyfriend. My man Mr. Whitinger is all that and a bag of potato chips and the bees knees and the kitchen sink and everything! haha. No, seriously, he's a swell guy. Sweller (and more swolled) than Zac Hanson will ever be, no offense ZH. I don't even think Zac played the drums on most of the "Middle of Nowhere" album, it sounds like a drum machine on a lot of the songs. Regardless, he's the best drummer ever. Besides Ian from Japanther and Ryann Slauson. And whoever is reading this thinks is the greatest drummer on earth. Just walk that shit out, Zac Hanson is the jam. Until tomorrow, interweb, I bid thee farewell.
2.07.2010
day fifteen
I didn't blog yesterday! Oh no! I'm sure no one was terribly let down (besides my spirit since I told myself I'd do this everyday)... It's okay because I wrote two entries in one day at some point last week. That's how I roll. If I vow to do something everyday I'll probably end up just doing it twice every other day. Am I just lazy or does everybody do that to some extent? (Just so you know interweb, I do this more for me than you. I'm glad you read this, store it, file it for however long or whatever... But thanks for being here it helps me alot). Okay enough sap, I gotta get to the good stuff.
I am SO happy that the Saints won the Super Bowl. They really deserve it, this game being the franchise's first ever Championship appearance and all... how awesome. I totally teared up watching Drew Brees holding his son on the field after they won. Oh my goodness. If you saw that you know how amazing it was. And by the way, that's why you cry, Tim Tebow. You cry because you brought your team to glory and can share the moment with your child. Not because you lost the SEC Championship since your mom didn't abort you. Did I mention that I absolutely can not stand Tim Tebow. He's the worst. And so is his mom. That was the worst commercial of the Super Bowl, even worse than the dumb GoDaddy.com ones.
I am, however, sad about one thing: that football season is over. Football is unquestionably the greatest sport ever. All other sports were probably invented to get me through the lag between seasons. At least it's only two months until the draft. That's kind of football-sy. Ballsy. Ha.
I need to go to sleep so that I can wake up and go to work and then go work out and then go grocery shopping and shower and eat and clean my apartment and talk to my boyfriend and all that and then do it all over again. My life is really busy but I am absolutely in love with it. Plus, the busy-ness helps me not smoke. Fifteen whole days. WOW. Until tomorrow, Ciao bella interweb. Ciao.
I am SO happy that the Saints won the Super Bowl. They really deserve it, this game being the franchise's first ever Championship appearance and all... how awesome. I totally teared up watching Drew Brees holding his son on the field after they won. Oh my goodness. If you saw that you know how amazing it was. And by the way, that's why you cry, Tim Tebow. You cry because you brought your team to glory and can share the moment with your child. Not because you lost the SEC Championship since your mom didn't abort you. Did I mention that I absolutely can not stand Tim Tebow. He's the worst. And so is his mom. That was the worst commercial of the Super Bowl, even worse than the dumb GoDaddy.com ones.
I am, however, sad about one thing: that football season is over. Football is unquestionably the greatest sport ever. All other sports were probably invented to get me through the lag between seasons. At least it's only two months until the draft. That's kind of football-sy. Ballsy. Ha.
I need to go to sleep so that I can wake up and go to work and then go work out and then go grocery shopping and shower and eat and clean my apartment and talk to my boyfriend and all that and then do it all over again. My life is really busy but I am absolutely in love with it. Plus, the busy-ness helps me not smoke. Fifteen whole days. WOW. Until tomorrow, Ciao bella interweb. Ciao.
2.06.2010
on the fourteenth day...
It's day fourteen. I haven't gone this long without a cigarette since I started smoking when I was fourteen. That is so unreal... Wow. Just... Wow. Tomorrow will be my two week anniversary of not smoking. I hate when people use anniversary to denote mile markers of weeks or months (even though I just did it) since 'anniversary' means annual, or recurring once a year... Not once a week or month or whatever. So it's not really my two week anniversary. It's two weeks. But it's TWO WHOLE WEEKS!!!!
I am so tired. I worked today, then worked out, came home and showered, ate dinner, went out to see some girlfriends, now home... All I want to do is stay up late and watch TV but I can barely make myself type something out I'm so exhausted. But I did make myself stay awake through Fringe, which I'm so happy about, because that show is the jam! Alternate universes and realities are neat-o stuff. Plus, it's rare to see a sexual tension as grand and long-running as Peter and Olivia. Smokin'! not me.
God I'm so spastic today, even on this. Earlier I was craving a cigarette but I ate nicotine gum instead. I had it in my mouth and was pushing it down into my gums to 'get' it faster! Who does that besides an addict...especially a nicotine addict. Anyway, the gum rush just made me really hyper and I have been so since. Even though I'm exhausted... I still have the giddy bug. I posted something on facebook about how I wanted to smoke and asked for suggestions. My favorite was from my friend Roland. He wrote "soak yourself in gasoline-that way you know not to light up or you'll explode." HA! Well, I didn't smoke. But not because I soaked myself in gasoline. It's because I prayed and let it pass. I know that's not very exciting. I didn't think so at least. I always want a secret trick that makes things happen immediately without having to do any of the work. Oh well... prayer is a decent secret trick I suppose. Anyhow, goodnight interweb. love you!!!
I am so tired. I worked today, then worked out, came home and showered, ate dinner, went out to see some girlfriends, now home... All I want to do is stay up late and watch TV but I can barely make myself type something out I'm so exhausted. But I did make myself stay awake through Fringe, which I'm so happy about, because that show is the jam! Alternate universes and realities are neat-o stuff. Plus, it's rare to see a sexual tension as grand and long-running as Peter and Olivia. Smokin'! not me.
God I'm so spastic today, even on this. Earlier I was craving a cigarette but I ate nicotine gum instead. I had it in my mouth and was pushing it down into my gums to 'get' it faster! Who does that besides an addict...especially a nicotine addict. Anyway, the gum rush just made me really hyper and I have been so since. Even though I'm exhausted... I still have the giddy bug. I posted something on facebook about how I wanted to smoke and asked for suggestions. My favorite was from my friend Roland. He wrote "soak yourself in gasoline-that way you know not to light up or you'll explode." HA! Well, I didn't smoke. But not because I soaked myself in gasoline. It's because I prayed and let it pass. I know that's not very exciting. I didn't think so at least. I always want a secret trick that makes things happen immediately without having to do any of the work. Oh well... prayer is a decent secret trick I suppose. Anyhow, goodnight interweb. love you!!!
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